The Chesapeake Bay snuck up on me like an Apache warrior in the Mojave...swiftly, and without warning. In an instant, I realized I had been deftly overcome by an intelligence superior to my own, and could only cower and pray for mercy, as the Tomahawk's silver pressed coldly to my scalp.
There I was, minding my own business, driving down the Charles M. Lankford Jr. Memorial Hwy (otherwise known as US 13) - en route to Williamsburg, VA. My head swirled with thoughts of the life I had left behind, and mysteries held by the road ahead.
Actually, I was thinking: "Where was the Ocean City boardwalk? Was it to the right? Should I go back and find it?" And this, in all likelihood, was how I missed traffic signs for what was really ahead: a 23-mile bridge-tunnel of terror. Let the nightmare begin.
During the days when I created my itinerary via Google Maps (love Google Maps), there was a vague awareness of having to cross 'a big lake' some point after the car-ferry. At that time, my intense fear of heights had asked me, "Is there any other way to get to Virginia? What are our options, here?" ... to which I replied, "Oh, hush."
That internal dialogue was lost and forgotten, traveling through a toll booth and wondered, "why am I going through a toll booth?" - soon after approaching what appeared to be a hill in the highway with lots of guard rails, and something - blue - on either side. Can I convey the feeling of utter dread that set in at this moment? Like a blanket of ice wrapping around my heart and setting my body into convulsions, I quickly realized I had come upon The Chesapeake Bay, without any advanced notice. No time to get psyched up. No chance to turn around and go home.
BUT, there must have been an angel on my shoulder this sunny afternoon, because I'd pulled over at the rest stop *right before* the bridge-tunnel, and if there was any moment on this trip I was in danger of peeing my pants - it was in the next 25 minutes.
Sidebar, but...hello McFly?? The rest stop was called "The Chesapeake Bay" rest stop, and contained this map according to Wikipedia, which I do sort-of remember looking at...how could I not know what was going to follow?? THIS is what happens when one does not remain aware, people, and in the interest that you learn a lesson today - dear Reader - I will be quizzing you at the end of this post (which is quickly approaching, like ever-present Death, as I was reminded June 2nd). So pay attention.
Essentially, this is a death trap. Somebody's process improvement for overpopulation of the area, apparently. Two lanes, complete with the up-close-and-personal guard rails pictured above that wouldn't stop a three year old from plunging to his death, let alone my rental. Two lanes, that eventually merge into one lane via construction cones. If there is ever a thing no one wants to see on a bridge, it's a construction cone. (Exception: the Newburgh-Beacon, or "Hamilton Fish" if you want to get technical, because in the 13 months I traveled it twice daily it NEVER failed to have construction cones.)
Why does it merge into one lane, you ask? Because you are required to go into a tunnel, that's why. Oh, I'm sorry, did I say one tunnel? Actually, there are two tunnels on this bridge. One is what you'd call "safe" - a one-way, two-lane passage, bright and cool under the waters of the bay....
...the other has clearly been designed to keep Virginians in Virginia, or Marylanders in Maryland, whichever you please. Because it is a dark, two-lane Autobahn...the speed limit an unfathomable 50 mph, the darkness lit up brightly by the vehicle approaching you head-on from the opposite direction - again, going in excess of fifty miles per hour. If I had to work across the bridge...well, I'd find me a new job.
As it were, I disregarded the 80-year-olds in the Oldsmobile up my ass and drove a more comfortable (or, slightly less terrifying) 35 mph. It took the edge off - can you just imagine this? Twenty-three miles of bridge-tunnel-bridge-tunnel-bridge, with suicidal vehicles whipping around turns (who builds turns on bridges? That's just cruel!), construction cones, and oh - this really got me going - scenic pull offs! Oh yeah buddy, I'm gonna slam on the brakes and pull off onto a four-foot shoulder to have a look-see at uninterrupted water, no land in sight, no end on this pathway to hell, just enjoy the ride! aHaHa!! 
So it's time for your quiz. What have you learned today, Reader? What did I do wrong? Let's be honest, nothing too bad because I'm still alive, despite taking my sweaty right hand off the wheel to haphazardly snap crooked photos - I felt an intense need (as Death swung his scythe in my general direction) to document my final moments, lest the camera survive the plunge into icy blue waters below. What I did wrong was not pay attention to what was going on right now, because I was either thinking about what did happen a few hours ago, or what could happen a few moments later.
Your lesson, aptly deserved after reading this long and ridiculous post? Pay attention to what's happening in life at this very moment. Don't bother thinking about what happened in the past, because what's done is done, you can't change it, you can't redo it, and you can't get it back. So you never found the boardwalk - big whoop, move on. And...don't spend time thinking about your possible future in the cold waters below, because if your mind isn't here-and-now, that sweaty hand will slip off the wheel and send you overboard anyway! At the very least, you'll miss the view :)
~A
P.S. If you are one of those people that would like to read about The Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel (not to be confused with the 4-mile Chesapeake Bay Bridge - yeah, didn't know about *that* one before setting off..), click HERE for a Wikipedia-good-time, complete with the statistics I don't want to know any more about. Incidentally, my first post pic is not the one featured in this article, although they do look nearly identical!
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