Driving down the Delaware and Maryland coast is a delightful experience. It's lovely and relaxing, the beaches are gorgeous, and quite frankly, I wouldn't mind taking a week or two just to explore these shores. They are full of the type of laid back seaside communities I would love to be part of year-round, and see if I can stomach the tourists during high season. (Probably not, us tourists are the worst!). At the very least, a summer pad down the coast would be super.
(Yeah, that's kind of a crappy picture, but it's all I got. See the sign though? Just trust me, it's a really nice drive.)
And apparently, a summer pad in Ocean City, Maryland, is an essential aspect of traveling to town. Because if you don't have a place to hang your hat, you will NOT have a place to...um...do your business.
I stopped in town, having been told OC is a "must see"...probably by someone that stayed in a house there for a few weeks...and drove around, looking for the beach. Now, that's easy to find, and the parking is free and abundant (another incentive to vacation here!)...and boy, was it beautiful. I ran out onto it, just to snap a few shots:
Boy, was it hot, too. I hot-footed it back to the car. Then...I wondered...where is the boardwalk? I tried calling a friend who was suppose to be an expert on this, and it was explained to me that the boardwalk "is not where the beach is", and honestly, I still don't effing know where the boardwalk was (or still is) in Ocean City. Because at this point, I was very confused and quite frustrated with Maryland geography. And, I had to pee.
So, I stopped in a convenience store, bought some overpriced batteries for my flashlight, and a very old and warm apple (also overpriced). The batteries turned out to be the wrong size, and the apple turned out to be, well, gross. The help was extremely friendly! But...no bathroom. Try the Subway.
What Subway? Where? The one that looks closed?
So, I drove to a gas station and bought an overpriced bottle of water. No bathroom. Try the McDonald's four miles down. Four miles?
So, I drove down to find the McDonald's. Where's the McDonald's? Stopped at another gas station. No bathroom. You've got to be kidding me. Try the candy store across the street.
Bathroom is for customers ONLY. Please, I beg of you. I will purchase one pound of those overpriced chocolate-covered pretzels, even though chocolate is a terrible road-trip snack, and they will not only turn out to be stale, but melt all over me in the car. You are so friendly miss Candy Woman, and I will banter with you while you wrap them and box them and bag them and put a sticker on them, and some ribbons and daisies. PLEASE LET ME USE YOUR BATHROOM. But of course! It's right around the corner, help yourself. Thank you thank you thank you thank you....(run to bathroom...which is of course....occupied). Oh, don't worry - I waited. No pants accidents to report on this trip, I am extremely proud to say.
This is a picture of me from Texas...hot, dehydrated (to avoid pants accidents), and clearly still thinking, "where was that boardwalk"...
I got the hell out of Dodge, or Ocean City rather. I still can't figure out how the beach could be on one side, and the boardwalk could be in another dimension. Sometimes, late at night, when I am drifting off to sleep...the questions come. Where was the boardwalk? Was it on the other side of town? Did it just stop suddenly? Is Ocean City really an island with a bridge I didn't notice driving over? Can't they just set it up like the Jersey Shore, everything in the same place; nice and simple?
Arg! Curse you, OC, for sleepless nights and brain-cramps (yes I just coined that phrase - stop, you have not heard it before). TILL WE MEET AGAIN.
~A
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